Pushing Through

I'm pretty sure that we're existing in some sort of parallel universe. Things are as I knew they would be, as they probably should be, but distorted... blurred around the edges. We arrived here in Cedar Hills, Utah a little over a week ago. Time tends to fly by and yet it just crawls all at the same time. Does that make any sense? It's almost as if I know on some level that to stop and consider what day it, what time it is, would most assuredly send me over some unseen edge. So, we just keep moving. I'm pretty sure that I'm handling this exceptionally well. Either that, or I'm not handling it at all, and it's actually just handling me. Alright, even as I type the words, the second option sounds a little more likely.

Tomorrow will be 4 weeks since Rick left. We're roughly 1/3 of the way through this ordeal, and sometimes I find myself still holding my breath, waiting for it to begin. I'm almost 7 months pregnant and Noah turns 3 in exactly a week. He's been adjusting quite well to all the changes. Definitely a little more clingy, definitely a little more testy, and definitely a lot more challenging, but I'm starting to think that maybe he might just survive this ordeal unscathed. He loves getting to live with all the grandpa's and grandma's. And while he's still completely confused as to what happened to mommy's house, and why we can't go "home", he seems to have accepted the fact that, for now, that's just how things are.

So, I have this new found respect for single mothers everywhere. Seriously? People do this alone?!? The worst part is having to be everyone. The bad guy, the good guy, the fun guy, the lay-down-the-law guy. I never realized how much tag-teaming Rick and I actually did. Speaking of Rick, lots of you are wondering and asking how he's doing. School is going great for him. There's an overwhelming amount of information pushed at him every day, and lots of tests and memorizing, but he's getting along just fine. He misses Noah like crazy, and I'm pretty sure he's doing the same thing we are... looking forward and pushing through. This little voice in the back of my head keeps whispering that this experience is going to do wonders for our family. Not just the job and the money and all that, but being apart is turning out to be a HUGE reminder of why we love being together.

Alright, so how about some random stuff that's been floating through my head lately? Here goes:

1. There are pregnant women everywhere here in Utah. Seriously... if you're not pregnant here, then you're almost in the minority. How totally un-fun is that?

2. Drivers in Utah are just like drivers in New Mexico. Stupid and reckless. Having said that, I would take Utah over NM any day if only because Utah drivers do it on purpose and are aware of their surroundings. NM drivers just don't pay attention to anybody else on the road and are completely unaware of the stupid and reckless things they do. It's scary, trust me.

3. The weather has been so wrong up here. Sunny one minute, snowing the next. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss Albuquerque. At least there I could be enjoying the sun.

4. I caught the stomach flu just a few days after we got here, and after a day of re-enacting my first trimester, I have indeed confirmed that there is a HUGE difference between "pregnant throwing up" and "flu bug throwing up". Sorry if that's too much information, but I would take a flu bug ANY day compared to that first 4 months.

5. Is it weird that I'm terribly jealous of Rick getting to be in Oklahoma, if only because he'll be there during tornado season? How cool would that be?!?

Alright, enough. I put my kid to bed over an hour ago and my "mommy time" is slowing dwindling away. I must go find something wonderfully "child-free" to do.