Pushing Through

I'm pretty sure that we're existing in some sort of parallel universe. Things are as I knew they would be, as they probably should be, but distorted... blurred around the edges. We arrived here in Cedar Hills, Utah a little over a week ago. Time tends to fly by and yet it just crawls all at the same time. Does that make any sense? It's almost as if I know on some level that to stop and consider what day it, what time it is, would most assuredly send me over some unseen edge. So, we just keep moving. I'm pretty sure that I'm handling this exceptionally well. Either that, or I'm not handling it at all, and it's actually just handling me. Alright, even as I type the words, the second option sounds a little more likely.

Tomorrow will be 4 weeks since Rick left. We're roughly 1/3 of the way through this ordeal, and sometimes I find myself still holding my breath, waiting for it to begin. I'm almost 7 months pregnant and Noah turns 3 in exactly a week. He's been adjusting quite well to all the changes. Definitely a little more clingy, definitely a little more testy, and definitely a lot more challenging, but I'm starting to think that maybe he might just survive this ordeal unscathed. He loves getting to live with all the grandpa's and grandma's. And while he's still completely confused as to what happened to mommy's house, and why we can't go "home", he seems to have accepted the fact that, for now, that's just how things are.

So, I have this new found respect for single mothers everywhere. Seriously? People do this alone?!? The worst part is having to be everyone. The bad guy, the good guy, the fun guy, the lay-down-the-law guy. I never realized how much tag-teaming Rick and I actually did. Speaking of Rick, lots of you are wondering and asking how he's doing. School is going great for him. There's an overwhelming amount of information pushed at him every day, and lots of tests and memorizing, but he's getting along just fine. He misses Noah like crazy, and I'm pretty sure he's doing the same thing we are... looking forward and pushing through. This little voice in the back of my head keeps whispering that this experience is going to do wonders for our family. Not just the job and the money and all that, but being apart is turning out to be a HUGE reminder of why we love being together.

Alright, so how about some random stuff that's been floating through my head lately? Here goes:

1. There are pregnant women everywhere here in Utah. Seriously... if you're not pregnant here, then you're almost in the minority. How totally un-fun is that?

2. Drivers in Utah are just like drivers in New Mexico. Stupid and reckless. Having said that, I would take Utah over NM any day if only because Utah drivers do it on purpose and are aware of their surroundings. NM drivers just don't pay attention to anybody else on the road and are completely unaware of the stupid and reckless things they do. It's scary, trust me.

3. The weather has been so wrong up here. Sunny one minute, snowing the next. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss Albuquerque. At least there I could be enjoying the sun.

4. I caught the stomach flu just a few days after we got here, and after a day of re-enacting my first trimester, I have indeed confirmed that there is a HUGE difference between "pregnant throwing up" and "flu bug throwing up". Sorry if that's too much information, but I would take a flu bug ANY day compared to that first 4 months.

5. Is it weird that I'm terribly jealous of Rick getting to be in Oklahoma, if only because he'll be there during tornado season? How cool would that be?!?

Alright, enough. I put my kid to bed over an hour ago and my "mommy time" is slowing dwindling away. I must go find something wonderfully "child-free" to do.

Where Am I?

So, it's done. In a matter of weeks my life has somehow managed to get turned upside down and has become almost unrecognizable. Last week we moved our entire house into storage, moved Noah and I in with my in-laws, moved Rick out to Oklahoma, and left us all a little dazed and confused. Rick hasn't even been gone a week and already we're wishing it were over. We knew it would be hard. Really hard. But seriously... this sucks. I'm not going to go into a whole lot of detail about how it is living with my in-laws, mostly because no matter what I say, it's going to sound negative, and that's not at all how I want to come across. The truth is, I'm pregnant, I'm suddenly a single mother of a 2 year old, and we've been smooshed together into one tiny room in a house that is smaller than the one we just moved out of. Add a father-in-law, a mother-in-law, and a sister-in-law to the mix and no matter how great everyone is, it's bound to get a little crazy. Seriously though, they've been so wonderful about opening up their home to us, and no matter how tough I think it might be, this is such a HUGE blessing for us. My parent will be getting here in about a week, and shortly thereafter, we'll be moving once again. This, and knowing my sister, Shayla, will be here in only a few short days has been my saving grace. To make the last week even more enjoyable (sarcasm intended), Noah came down with a nasty bought of bronchitis. Two days later, I followed suit. There's nothing quite like being sick at someone else's house. At home, I'd plop my hacking, coughing, self down on the couch and not move until absolutely necessary. Noah would watch as much TV as could be tolerated, and in a few days, I'd drag us both back to civilization. Being in someone else's home, however, puts a whole different pressure on us both. Oh, well. Noah woke up today feeling/acting almost normal again and I'm hoping I'll be following in his tracks shortly. On the bright side, I'm completely relieved that we both got our sicknesses out of the way. This will hopefully allow for fever-free days for the remainder of Rick's time away.

I'm reading over this and realizing that it's not real exciting and kind of a downer post, but trust me when I say that a huge part of that may be the medicine that's got me kind of foggy. This may be the shortest post in the history of my blog, but I'm actually going to end things here. There will be lots more to come, I'm sure.