The Ugly Truth

You've heard the stories. They all begin with a beautiful tale about a young girl with exceptional potential and a bright future ahead. Then the story turns tragic and something terrible happens. She might have been a dancer or a runner or something along those lines, and then in the form of a car accident or some mysterious disease, she ends up losing both her legs. It's terrible. I cry every time. But the amazing thing is her attitude after it all. Somehow, she remains upbeat and positive in the face of adversity. She doesn't whine or complain. She doesn't turn bitter or blame anyone else. She rises above and becomes the shining example of how we should all be when faced with terrible hardships. And every time I hear a story like this I try to remind myself of how grateful I should be that I'm healthy and whole and truly blessed to have lived such a wonderful and (relatively) pain-free existence.

And then... I go and get myself pregnant. And once again, I have to face the ugly truth that I am NOT one of those girls. A couple of weeks ago pregnancy hit with a vengeance and I have not exactly been that shining example of how to overcome adversity with grace and style. Trust me, people, it hasn't been pretty. For those of you reading this who have gone through pregnancy without all the nausea and vomiting, I just want you to know that I forgive you. No, I'm only kidding, but seriously... why me? Can I just get that out of my system? I know, I know, it could be soooo much worse, and perhaps I should just hold off blogging until after I hit that magical week 16 (most people get over the morning sickness by week 12, by the way) because I worry that all of you will have to put up with nauseating amounts of complaining, but that's only fair right? If I have to be nauseated, I really think that everyone else should be too! Okay, I'm only kidding again... kind of. Oh, and that reminds me, who ever came up with the term "morning sickness?" A man, probably. Every time someone uses that term it just kills me. Morning? Really? What would I give for just morning sickness. Oh no, if I'm alive and breathing, then I'm sick.

Alright, I'm done. Thanks for putting up with that. I'll try to keep the complaints to a minimum from here on out. So here's the juice on the past couple of weeks. It's been kinda crazy. We had a little scare when I started spotting and they brought me in to do an ultrasound. Everything turned out okay. I'll spare you all the details but we saw the heartbeat and everything is fine. I had my first OB appointment a couple of days ago and I'm about 8 weeks along. My due date is July 23, and you'll all be proud to know that I didn't deck the nurse when she said that my "morning sickness" was a good thing. She said "a sick mommy is a healthy baby!!!" in a tone of voice that would have made me vomit even if I wasn't pregnant. The good news is that I love my doctor and, although I came prepared to beg, he happily handed over that magical prescription for Zofran. My maternity insurance doesn't kick in for another week or two, so I can't fill it yet (a 20 day supply costs about $400 without the insurance), but hopefully my posts will take on a much happier tone soon. My little friend, Zofran, has magical powers and can effectively take the edge off of that "morning sickness" I've come to love so much. Sometimes, when I'm feeling especially bad, I like to just hold the prescription in my hand and pretend that it's a pill bottle filled with lots of my little friends all arguing over who gets to be eaten first. How's that for insight into my soul?

Okay, enough of that. Wanna hear some good news? Rick has officially been offered a position with the FAA. Yep, a big packet came in the mail with all sorts of paperwork and instructions that will inevitably lead to another 3-6 months of waiting. They call it a tentative offer, which becomes firm after he passes extensive medical, security, and background checks. Unfortunately, this big packet contained no information about dates or what to expect in the future. That only comes after they scour our lives for anything illegal or generally unacceptable. Rick has been frantically filling out paperwork, peeing in little cups, and getting EKG's for the past week or so. They gave him a deadline of 10 days to complete just about everything and once again, we find ourselves wondering why they ask us to HURRY so dang much when they move at roughly the rate of cold molasses. Meanwhile, I continue to dwell in the land of denial, and thoughts of how this is going to play out are effectively set aside.

Well, that's about it for now. Hopefully the next time I write I'll be feeling much better, whether induced by drug or God's pity, it matters not. I hope everyone out there is having a super fantastic Christmas Season!

Search & Rescue

I've figured it out. The one thing that annoys me the absolute worst about having children. Believe it or not, it's not the runny noses, constant 2 year old tantrums, throwing up in the middle of the night or even the incessant whining. Those are all, at best, tolerable. There is just one little thing that may, in the end, be the one thing that sends me over the edge.

So, I've been sick for almost 3 days now. I've felt it coming on for the past 2 weeks and have been warding it off with mega doses of vitamins and fizzy wonder drinks. (Thank goodness for Emer'gen-C) Of course, it really hit hard on Thanksgiving and by that night, I was ready to give in. All of Friday and Saturday were spent on the couch in that half comatose state where you're awake because you've got a two year old to take care of, but the entire time you're wishing you were dead. In Noah's defense, he really was about as good as you could expect a little boy to be. In my defense, I didn't kill him so I think I was about as good as you could expect me to be.

It was early on Friday morning when Noah discovered some batteries that he'd left hidden some weeks ago in our closet. (He's a little like a dog burying a bone in that way. He'll find little knickknacks that he'll play with for a few days and then lose interest, leaving them in totally random spots around the house. It may be months before he'll go back and find them, at which time he'll pick up where he left off, playing with them as if it was his favorite thing to do all along.) He's been having a real love affair with these batteries on and off for the past year, it seems. He doesn't really do anything with them. He just likes to carry them around. So, anyways, he reunited (once again) with these batteries on Friday morning while I lay dying on the couch. He promptly brought them over to me so that I could appreciate his discovery. It really was perfect timing because he was starting to tire of playing with my salad spinner. But wait a second... you could almost see the wheels turning in his little brain. Batteries plus salad spinner. Oh, this could be good!

I kid you not, people. This kid of mine played with those stupid batteries and that dang spinner for hours! Take off the lid... put batteries in...put lid back on...pound frantically on the top to make those batteries spin spin spin spin spin...stop the spinning...take batteries out...put lid back on...aaaannnddd repeat. It was like manna from above. The perfect toy to keep a sick mother's child entertained for hours on end. That night I dreamt of ways to market the whole thing and sell it at Toys R Us.

Saturday morning arrived and, still sick, I resumed my position on the couch and Noah resumed playing with the batteries and the salad spinner. Only today, Noah threw in a little extra something and started adding cars and trucks into the mix. Man that thing can spin! It was about mid afternoon when it all began to lose its excitement. Noah finally quit spinning and went back to just holding the batteries in his hand. We watched some Curious George and read lots of books. I know, I know, you're all wondering what happened to the most annoying thing about having kids, right? Cue conversation:

Noah: Mama? Baah-yees? (That's "batteries" in 2 year old tongue)

Mama: Did you lose your batteries?

Noah: Uh-huh.

Mama: Uh-oh, you better go find them.

Noah: Uh-huh. (Said with blank, very expectant look in his eyes)

Mama: Noah, you can go look for your batteries. Go check in the kitchen.

Noah: (Walks into the kitchen, pauses, turns around and comes back) Mama? Baah-yees?

Mama: You checked the kitchen? Maybe they are over there by the computer.

Noah: (Walks over to the computer, pauses, turns around and comes back) Mama? Baah-yees?

We do this for every possible place that Noah could have left his batteries. Noah patiently pretends that he's actually looking for them, and I patiently (okay maybe not so patiently) keep suggesting more places to search. Finally, I get up, resigning myself to what I already knew from the moment he told me he lost them. I would have to go find this kid his stupid batteries. Guess where they were? For those of you who are mothers reading this right now, I'll bet you knew from the very beginning where those batteries were. Yup, that's right. They were in the kitchen, the first place I told him to check, on the floor, in plain sight, probably touching Noah's foot when he first went in there to "look" for them.

Well, the child is only 2, you kind of have to cut him a little slack. But, I am annoyed, not because this is happening now, but because I KNOW that this will continue to occur throughout his life. It is a male disease, I'm sure we are all aware. Oh, sure, it doesn't differentiate between males and females until a little later in life, but don't be deceived.

Case in point: I was watching my four nieces and nephews for about a week while my brother and his wife went out of town. (Sorry Heather, I only justify this because truly, my heart does go out to you). They have got 2 girls and 2 boys, and for the purposes of this post, I'll tell you that the younger boy, Ethan, is 4 and the older boy, Jared, is 8. I'm not kidding even a little when I tell you that Ethan lost his shoes at least a dozen times a day, every day. Mind you, these were the same shoes he had been wearing all day, the ones he had on not 5 minutes ago. We would do the whole search and rescue scenario that I just did with Noah, with exactly the same results. But again, he is only 4, so I would cut him a break. Jared, although not losing his shoes, would lose random things throughout the week, and inevitably I would end up finding them myself, as his own search results would turn up nothing.

Unfortunately, this disease does not cure itself over time. In fact, I'm fairly certain, although I haven't run any official studies, that no matter how early in life you start, no matter how hard you try to teach them, even grown men cannot escape this terrible ailment. Men do, however, learn better coping tools over time. And women have also learned to adapt. My husband, for example, has learned that it is a total waste of time to play the whole search and rescue game. And thankfully, my husband can communicate much more effectively than my 2 year old can. Rick has learned that 98.9% of the time, I can tell him exactly where something is located, without even having to enter the room. And at some point around the time I got married and had a child, my spidey mommy senses have become much more acute, and probably 73% of the time, I can even tell Rick what he's looking for and where it is before he ever asks.

So, while it annoys me to no end that my kid can't find his own stuff that is lying directly in his line of sight, I suppose that I can find some peace in the fact that someday, he'll just stop pretending to search, he'll marry a sweet girl who's spidey senses will develop quite rapidly, and all will fall into place exactly the way it was meant to be. If someone could just be so kind to remind me of that the next time Noah loses something? Thanks so much.

Hurry Up and Wait

It's done. Rick went for the interview, and once again, I find that all my stressing and worry was premature. Just a little background on a few things before I really go into it:

When Rick set up the interview, the man set it up to take place at the actual tower, which happens to be located at the air force base here in Albuquerque. This is unusual, we learned, because we originally thought that all interviewing took place at the actual FAA building that is located no where near the airport and/or the tower. Just so you know, there are a couple different jobs that a flight control specialist does. One is obviously the guy sitting up there in the tower giving clearance for the planes to take off and land. The other, which by the way is what we thought was what Rick would solely be doing, is the guy sitting behind that dark computer screen with those little green airplanes flashing and going in every which direction. (Think all those 911 movies you saw- it really does look like that). So okay, back on track, Rick was set up to interview at the tower, and we weren't really sure why. Well, once he got there, he asked the receptionist to explain. She went on to tell him that he was being interviewed at the tower because "the stars were aligned." In other words, Rick is one lucky dude. Apparently, most people get slated to work at the FAA building, and many of them are always trying to get over to the tower. Sometimes, people from the tower will move over to the FAA site, and then spend who knows how long trying to get back to the tower. The tower is, according to several people Rick talked to, the cool place to be. Not only do you get to do more jobs, but there is one other VERY great thing about it. Okay wait, one more piece of background:

Once Rick completes the training in Oklahoma, he gets back and starts working at a very base level of pay. Nothing to scream about really. Then, he spends the next forever and a day taking various certification courses, test, etc. to up his rank and therefore up his pay. He learned today at the interview that, if you're at the FAA site, some of these courses can take a VERY long time to get into. The majority of the people work at the FAA building, so therefore you're competing with a lot more people to work your way up. There are only a handful of people at the tower, and therefore, it is much easier and much quicker to make your way up.

The good news is that Rick found out today, that should he get the job, he is actually slated to work there at the tower. It sounded like a pretty rare thing, but apparently there were a number of people that had either retired or moved and it just so happened that they have 4 positions to fill over there. What a blessing... Rick will hopefully fill one of them.

There's more. I know, this is taking forever. Sorry. So, he did the whole interview thing in front of 3 men. Here's the bad news. These guys told Rick that they actually aren't the ones to make the final decision. According to them, they send back their "recommendation" to Oklahoma, and they (whoever they are) make the final say. So, pretty much, as long as Rick didn't make a total idiot out of himself, then they'll send over a positive recommendation and Oklahoma will then contact Rick with a tentative job offer. I say tentative, because this is when Rick has to go through a pretty extensive health check and security clearance. Since we all know that he has excellent eye sight, is not dying from cancer and/or a mental illness, has never held up a drug store, and has never been in jail, I feel pretty confident that he'll pass this portion of the ride. For those of you who have either gone through this yourself or have spouses that have, please feel free to let me know if I should begin the worrying process over this. (Insert nervous laughter now).

Ready for some more good news? The men told Rick that the training out in Oklahoma differs depending on which classes you get put in. This explains why the FAA website (where Rick initially applied) officially states that the training program is "several weeks" long. Then we heard from another source that it was actually 4 months long. Recently, we were informed through the grape vine that someone in our stake had just completed the training and he was gone for SIX months. Needless to say, I was starting to worry a little. Well, they finally cleared it up for me by adding it to the list of variables that are yet to be answered. We learned today that the shortest training session is only 11 weeks long. Can you believe it? There is a chance, cross your fingers everyone, that Rick may only have to go for less than 3 months! Once again, we are trying not to get excited too early, but we are DEFINITELY hoping.

Alright, so they took him on a whole tour of the tower and told him that they had heard that some people were receiving replies from Oklahoma in as little as two days. Their exact words were: You're dealing with the government. You better hurry up and wait. (That one's for you, Nate & Shayla!) So... for those of you hoping to hear today that we got the job, get in line people! Once again, I'll keep you posted...

The Winds of Change

I have been thinking all week about writing this blog. And since it's been almost a month since I last posted anything, I've got some serious blogger brain going on. (You know what I'm talking about... the longer you go without a post the more you tend to start writing them in your head and then leaving them half finished, only to start a completely new one the next time you have more than half a second to think your own thoughts. No? Just me? That doesn't happen to everyone? Okay, never mind then.)

So, it has been my intention to do an "update" post for more than a few weeks now. I got a phone call (quite a while ago, might I add) from my sister-in-law, Stephanie, who was convinced that my lack of an update on the pregnancy endeavor was for sure a sign that I was pregnant and holding out on everyone. I had to reassure her that that wasn't the case, and I became aware that perhaps there might be others out there thinking the same thing. Well, time kept passing and my well-intentioned "update post" kept getting pushed back, and now I find that my updates have changed.

Okay, just to keep everyone in total suspense, I'm going to start with the job stuff. Seriously... you all remember my total craziness that has accompanied me throughout this job opportunity with the FAA. Well, we finally heard from the them. We knew he had passed the test, and we knew that he might get contacted for an interview. The next thing we got was an e-mail telling us that he will get contacted for an interview, but keep waiting until further notice. Then we got another e-mail saying pretty much the same thing, but from another department. This happened about three more times, until finally we got a phone call from someone who, heaven help us, is actually located here in Albuquerque. After a week of trying to actually make contact with this guy, it has finally been set. Rick has an interview on Monday, and now my anxiety over the unknown has started to turn into anxiety over what I do know. We've heard from a few people that have gone through this process before that if you make it to the interview stage, it's pretty much done. The interview isn't so much an interview, but a meeting to make the job offer. So, while trying not to get too prematurely excited, we are definitely feeling blessed. I'm not even going to go into how totally freaked I am about the fact that if Rick gets this job, then that means 6 months of training out in Oklahoma City. Six months that may or may not take Noah and I with him. What was the distant future is starting to hit a little closer to home. I choose to remain in complete denial about this aspect of the job.

So, in total Jennifer style and just to mix things up a little bit, there is one more tiny bit of update that makes things kinda crazy. Like I said, my every intention was to let you all know that there wasn't any news on the baby front, and up until very recently, that remained unchanged. Yep, your eyes are not deceiving you, just last week I found out that I am pregnant. It's kind of a funny story, with lots of details that would probably be too much information, but suffice to say that somehow I managed to be "trying" for 5 months and still be completely shocked when it actually happened. I'm not very far along at all, and probably would never have made the announcement so soon, but I get the distinct feeling that the timing of all of this was soooo out of my hands. I was deathly ill thus far into my pregnancy with Noah, and seriously thought I was going to die throughout the entire first 4 months, but so far this pregnancy has been kind. In fact, there are moments when I even wonder if I'm really pregnant at all. I pray that it remains that way. I fear that Rick will get this job and have to leave his sick, pregnant wife and 2 year old for the majority of my pregnancy. I fear even more that he'll get this job and things will continue to move in the snails pace that they have been all along, and he'll have to leave his not so sick but VERY pregnant wife with a 2 year old and a looming delivery without him. Okay... and that's my cue to embrace my denial and stop thinking about it. At least for now. In the mean time, Yay! I'm pregnant! We're very excited and although I haven't been to the doctor for an official date, the baby will probably be here sometime in mid-July.

Well, that's enough update for now. I'm sure I'll have oodles more to talk about after Rick's interview on Monday. Stay tuned...

International Balloon Fiesta

It may be our only real claim to fame, but seriously... check out some of these photos! The International Balloon Fiesta that happens every year here in Albuquerque certainly is quite a site to behold. These first couple of pictures were taken at the Saturday Morning Mass Ascension. Literally thousands of balloons from all over the world gather for this event and the crowds are unbelievable. Rick had to work, but Noah and I took the "park and ride" down to the park. (This was Noah's first time on a bus and that practically deserves a whole post all to itself. Seriously... the boy almost had a coronary, he was so excited...) This year was the first time I've made it out for a Mass Ascension... waking up and getting down to the park by 6:30 am was almost too much to ask... but after getting down there, it was sooooo worth it.


As you can see from that last picture, there are lots of fun shapes to be seen up in the air during the week of Balloon Fiesta. By far the best event takes place later on in the week. It's called the Special Shapes Glowdeo, and although none of the balloons actually take flight, it's a blast to see them all lit up at night. Just before sundown all the balloons start taking shape. There are speakers set up throughout the whole park and they start counting down to the "all glow." All of the balloons simultaneously light up and the whole park comes alive with crazy shapes. The pictures aren't the best (mainly because I spent 3/4 of the times trying to figure out what setting would be best on my camera), but you get the idea.

Darth Vader was a new addition this year... honestly, it was a little creepy to see his head just floating around in the sky every morning.

And just because my boys are so super cute, I had to throw in this one last picture. To give you a little background, Noah has recently started to appreciate the novelty of saying "cheese" during the whole picture taking process. Well, every time a balloon would light up, he would look at it and say "cheese!!!" with his eyes all scrunched up. How cute is that?

Early Release Due to Sneaky Behavior

There was nothing unusual about this day to make me think that my life was about to change. My morning had been spent frantically trying to catch up on things that should have been done yesterday. (Alright, alright... a week ago... but who's counting, right?) After deciding, yet again, what lunch to feed my ever increasingly picky eater, I finally reached my favorite time of day... nap time. My heart skipped a beat at the thought of a whole hour (or hopefully two) ALL TO MYSELF. I dreamt of sitting and watching something very non-animated... maybe even taking a nap. That made me chuckle a little as I settled for a few minutes to balance the checkbook in peace. Time flew by and I knew that things would be coming to a close very shortly. I heard him stirring in the next room... I said a silent prayer that today would be that lucky day that he would roll over and go back to sleep for another 10 minutes. Allowing myself to slip a little deeper into that mommy selective hearing mode, I suddenly jumped when he appeared out of the corner of my eye...

Wait... what?!? How in the...?... Nooooo!!!! The time had come. My dear sweet boy... the one who keeps me running from morning 'til night. The overactive 2 year old that just wont stop. The one who had NEVER shown even an ounce of interest in finding his own way out of that wonderful invention, the crib. Suddenly, my one last haven... was gone. First, he learned to crawl. Then, he learned to walk. Even when he learned how to open and close doors. Through it all, I could always count on the crib. The one thing that would always keep things exactly where and how I wanted them. Safe, happy, LOCKED UP. In the blink of an eye, it was gone.

And that is what it's like to have children, isn't it? The moment that you think you've finally nailed down a good routine, and things are flowing kind of smoothly... wham! Your world flips upside down and you have to start from scratch. New plan. New routine.

So, now we've got the "big boy bed." (We received a great toddler bed from my sister here in Albuquerque). And you all know how that plays out. Days, weeks, even months of convincing your child that after over 2 years of being behind bars, they should actually choose to stay in bed on their own. Right.

So that has been my life for the past week. I know all parent have to go through it, in some form or another. But seriously... sometimes you have to stop and wonder about it all. But here I sit. My husband is in bed, and yes, even the boy is finally fast asleep in his non-crib. We'll just pretend for now that things will stay that way all night...

Just Sleep On It

So you're all going to think me a little crazy, and I wasn't even planning on blogging about this, but I've just got to talk a little about one of the greatest shows on TV right now. Well, technically, the new season of 24 doesn't begin until January, but I am at this very moment sitting on my couch watching a rerun from season 4 while typing this post. And might I add that although it's been said before (Heather you were so right), if the world were ending at this very moment I would seriously want Kiefer Sutherland by my side. I know, I know... only a mere actor... but any of you who have watched (and therefore most assuredly loved) this show, would have to admit that Kiefer Sutherland will forever more be known as Jack Bauer. Rick and I had never even seen an episode of 24 until earlier this year when we finally caved and rented season one. After dropping off the face of the earth to watch seasons 1-5 over the space of a few weeks, it all came to a screeching halt when we were informed that season 6 would not be released on DVD until December. Since then we've been anxiously counting down the days until we can be officially caught up and then start season 7 with everyone else. Is it wrong that my excitement for Christmas comes in 2nd place to the season 6 DVD release?

Okay, so on with the real stuff... Let me just preface this by letting you know that I have re-learned a very valuable lesson over the past week. In case any of you out there are feeling like you should be accomplishing more in your lives... like perhaps your endless hours of work just aren't enough... like maybe you need to try to take on just one more thing... take my word for it... just wait!

As I mentioned in my last post, about a month ago I started working 1 day a week down at my brother's podiatry practice. It was going quite well and I was really starting to enjoy my "adult time" while also helping out in the financial department at home. After talking it over with Rick, and since I was so obviously handling my supermom role with ease (sarcasm intended), it was decided that I would bump things up to work 2 days a week. Things continued to flow quite smoothly until Sunday came and we got a call to come into church early to meet with a member of the bishopric. (Yeah, we all know what that means...) Wouldn't you know it, I was called to be the 1st Counselor of the Primary Presidency. I was totally psyched about it. I've never been in a presidency before and although I have no clue what I'm doing, I am super excited about it. There are a few things that make this calling a little more stressful than I had anticipated, though. Turns out that our primary is a big one. I mean, I knew it was big... but whoa... We have 4 nursery's, 3 sunbeam classes, and 2 of almost all the other classes. Our nurseries have over 50 kids in them alone. The entire primary consists of over 150 kids. Many of the classes have over 15 kids in them, but we can't split them because there's simply no more room in the building. (Our building houses 4 wards each Sunday). It has been confirmed that a new building will be added in our neighborhood, but they haven't even broken ground yet. Even so, I think this is going to be so much fun! So, this last week we had two presidency meetings in order to get things transitioned over from the old presidency. As it happens... they were smack dab in the middle of preparing for the primary program which is scheduled for next month. After the meeting ended the previous presidency looked decidedly relieved... and all of us in the new presidency had a few new gray hairs.

So, I have to admit, I'm kind of starting to wonder about my decision to take on another day at work. Having said that, I realize that this week was a little more crazy than normal, and I'm not giving in quite yet. For future reference though... the next time I think I need to take on something more, I think I'll give it a little more time... wait for life to catch up... it always does.

On a side note, we still haven't heard anything from the FAA. Part of me is not surprised at all, while the other part of me is starting to wonder. It took 2 months for them to contact us the first time, so I suppose we might be right on track. Seriously, though... if Rick doesn't end up getting an interview... couldn't they at least let us know that we were out of the running?!?

Well, it's after midnight and my rerun of 24 is over... I guess it's time for bed. Tomorrow is my first Sunday in primary and it's my month to conduct. Wish me luck!